Your grief as a sibling counts
When an adult dies, sympathy often goes first to their spouse, children, and parents. The Compassionate Friends notes that surviving siblings are often called “forgotten mourners” for that reason. Many siblings share more years with each other than with anyone else, and your flowers and words have a place at the service.
If your sister or brother was married or had a partner, that person usually leads decisions about the service. The Emily Post Institute lists siblings among the family members who may supply the casket spray, but ask the person arranging the funeral before ordering one. Let your card, not the size of the arrangement, carry what you want to say.
Sign with your first and last name, or add “your sister” or “your brother” before it. Your sibling’s spouse, children, and friends may not know every relative, and many funeral homes pass the cards to the family after the service.
What to write on funeral flowers for your sister
Use the name you called her, even if it was a nickname no one else used. A small, specific memory will say more than a long tribute.
- [Name], you were my first friend and my longest one. I love you. [Your name]
- No one else remembers what I remember. I will keep it safe for both of us. Your sister, [Your name]
- Thank you for lending me your clothes, your courage, and your car. Love, [Your name]
- Sis, I will miss our Sunday calls more than I can say. [Your name]
- You were the brave one. I’ll try to be braver now. Love always, [Your name]
- My sister, my partner in trouble, my home team. [Your name]
What to write on funeral flowers for your brother
A little humor is allowed on a funeral card. If a joke or a shared phrase was part of your relationship with your brother, it may be the most honest line you write.
- [Name], you always had my back. I’ve got yours now. Your brother, [Your name]
- Thank you for teaching me to throw a curveball and take a joke. Love you, [Your name]
- Big brother, I am still following you around. I always will. [Your name]
- To my little brother, who grew up to be the best of us. [Your name]
- We shared a room, a last name, and a lifetime of stories. Love, [Your name]
- I would give anything for one more of your terrible puns. Love you, [Your name]
From a twin, an older sibling, or a younger sibling
Birth order shapes a relationship, and the card can reflect it. A twin may want to name a bond that began before either of you could talk. An older sibling may remember the day a baby came home; a younger one may want to say thank you for leading the way.
- We started this life together. I will carry you through the rest of mine. [Your name]
- Half of every memory I have is yours. I love you, [Name]. [Your name]
- I held you the day you came home. I’m holding on to you still. [Your name]
- I spent my whole life looking up to you, and I still do. [Your name]
Funeral flower messages from siblings, in-laws, and step siblings
When brothers and sisters send one arrangement, one person should place the order and confirm the wording with everyone first. List names in an order no one will question, such as oldest to youngest, and include spouses only if everyone agrees.
In-laws, half siblings, and step siblings may have been as close as any brother or sister, or may have known each other mainly at family gatherings. Write to the relationship you actually had, and include your surname so the family knows who you are. The first three lines below are for a shared card; the rest suit a sister-in-law, brother-in-law, half sibling, or step sibling.
- From the back seat of the family car to today, we were always a team. Love, [Names]
- Our sister, our referee, our favorite phone call. We love you. [Names]
- There will always be a place for you at our table. Love, your brothers and sisters, [Names]
- [Name], you became my sister the day you married my brother. I love you. [Your name]
- Thank you for loving my sister so well, and for being a brother to me. [Your name]
- We didn’t grow up under one roof, but you were my brother all the same. [Your name]
- Our parents brought us together, and we chose to stay that way. Love, [Your name]
If you had drifted apart
Adult siblings do not always stay close. The Compassionate Friends observes that sibling relationships often change after childhood, as each person travels a separate path, and that feelings about staying in touch can be mixed. Distance does not cancel your loss, and it does not require you to write more than you feel.
Choose something true and brief. Remembering your childhood, or simply signing your name, is honest and kind. The card is not the place to explain what came between you.
- We lost touch, but I never stopped being your sister. [Your name]
- I am remembering the kids we were, and wishing you peace. [Your name]
- Thinking of the summers when we were young. Rest easy, [Name]. [Your name]
What to write to parents who lost a son or daughter
If you are sending flowers to the parents of someone who died, write gently and keep it short. The Compassionate Friends says the death of a child, at any age and from any cause, is overwhelming to parents. It also notes that when an adult child was married or had a family, attention usually goes to that household, so parents can feel overlooked.
Use their child’s name. Do not explain the death, compare losses, or suggest that the grief should be lighter because their child was grown. Sign with your full name and, if needed, how you knew their son or daughter.
If there are surviving brothers and sisters, consider naming them too, as in “Thinking of you, Tom, and Lucy.” It tells the whole family that each of their losses has been noticed.
- Dear [Parents’ names], we are so sorry about [Name]. We will always remember how kind [Name] was to our children. [Your full name]
- We are remembering [Name] with you, today and in the months ahead. [Your full name]
- [Name] talked about you all the time. We are so sorry. [Your full name]
- [Name] was your child at every age. We are so sorry, and we are thinking of you both. [Your full name]
Ribbon wording for a sister or brother
A card is the small note that travels with the flowers and later goes to the family. A ribbon or banner is a few lettered words across a formal piece, usually a standing spray, wreath, or casket spray. Use the ribbon for the relationship and the card for everything else.
Lettering is not included with every design, so ask the florist whether it is available for your arrangement and date and how many words will fit. At Bloom Lane, formal pieces such as the Standing Spray and Remembrance Wreath are made only by our local team for delivery within its service area; they are not available through partner florists elsewhere.
- Beloved Sister
- Our Brother
- Sister and Best Friend
- Brother, Uncle, Friend
- Big Sister
- My Twin, Always
Faith-based messages, only if they fit
Use religious wording when you know it reflects your sibling’s faith and the family’s. For grieving parents, choose words of comfort rather than explanation. Scripture here is from the King James Version.
- “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” Philippians 1:3. Your sister, [Your name]
- Little brother, save me a seat in heaven. [Your name]
- “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.” Psalm 34:18. Praying for your family, [Your full name]
A simple formula, then a final check
To write your own, put three things together: your sibling’s name, one memory only the two of you share, and a line of love or a wish. For example: “Meg, I’ll finish the puzzle we started. Love you always, Tess.”
Leave out the cause of death, old arguments, and anything about the estate. When you order, give the florist your sibling’s full name as it appears on the service notice, the venue address, and the first viewing or service time. If the family has asked for donations instead of flowers, follow that request.